this journal is going bye-bye.

i'm kind of sad about it because i've had it for like 8 years or so, i like all the interaction with you guys, and generally have fun with it.

but it's caused a few problems that i just can't let fester. so to save the body, i'm removing the infected limb.


thank you everyone who was a friend to me here. if you want to keep in contact, my email is mariecato@gmail.com

i've been watching a bit of house lately, so i feel this fits in well.

ugh.... Liam was on a decent sleep schedule, now he's off. he wants to go to bed later, and thus, get up later too. boo on this. but he's getting so big already! if i blink, i think he'll grow even more. but he's so cute! he's the master of making bubbles with his mouth, and he's smiling sometimes now. oh, my heart, it is so happy now!

Leave me a comment (you have to specifically tell me you want a letter) and I will give you a letter. Then, write 10 things that you love starting with that letter. Post the list in your journal. Give out letters to your commenters in return.

Shelliroth gave me K. Much harder than i thought it would be.

1. Knowledge
2. Kittens
3. Kyo, of Fruits Basket
4. Karma
5. Kielbasa Sausage (my butt cheeks are warm!)
6. Kettles, from A-town in Korea. (they are full of soju, and will get you drunk)
7. Knickknacks
8. Karate
9. Kiwis
10. Korea, S.

Liam's almost a week old. Tomorrow will be his week-iversary. It already seems to be flying by. Especially after leaving the hospital. Granted, i haven't been getting much sleep. I can't. I have to feed him all the time, and somehow he started dictating the times when. So i'm guessing he's on stateside time, cause he wants to eat like crazy from 0300-0800, and that's when i want to sleep. boo.
but he's so cute! he sneezes all the time, and it's the most adorable thing ever. i actually look forward to them. it's also funny the things we're getting excited about. like his first poo. we waited about 5 days, the last on kind of nervously, for him to go #2. i feel like the fact that we were practically high fiving each other over a dirty diaper marks a big change in our life style. i guess it's all the odd little changes in myself i can already notice, like when we're driving with Liam in the car. Jared's a good driver, but i'm so nervous everytime we go out. i just want everyone else to be as careful as us, and they're not. it doesn't help that there are some seriously crazy drivers here in japan. very narrow roads and just some odd street set ups. it's just so strange to me still how all these changes in myself just instantly took place.
i think tomorrow we'll give him his first bath. oh, milestones, we're going through them all.

we rented the curious case of benjamin button. i really liked it, though it's probably not the best idea to watch it a few days post partum. i'm pretty much crying over anything sappy right now. haha, the best was while i was actually still in the hospital after delivery. i was watching TLC, and a baby story came on, so i watched it. there i am, crying over newborns after just birthing mine. good timing TLC, good timing. i also cried at the end of season 4 prison break. i won't spoil it, because everyone will probably enjoy this show and should watch it, but OMG!!! they so didn't need to end it like that. makes my heart hurt. next up, i hope to watch the new transformers movie and find some reason to bawl at that too. don't judge me.

yeah, so here's my stomach, as of today. i don't think i've posted any pics of my stomach exposed, as you can see my unfinished, and somewhat larger, tattoo. it's kind of awkward looking at the moment. please excuse. but i'm all stomach and boobies these days. and everyday it's in the mid 80s, but the humidity, oh god! it's like living in a sauna. since we always have our ac on now, our electric went through the roof. but we refuse to shut it off, we're cutting corners else where.

Man, I had a couple of friends who got knocked up about the same time as me, and they had their babies. I made a friend here who came to my babyshower, but was about a month and half behind me. I'm going to her baby shower today in like 2 hours. Thing is, her water broke earlier this week, and she delivered. At 34 weeks. First off, her and the baby are totally fine, healthy and happy.

But i'm a day shy of being fucking 41 weeks along, and damn tired of this.

I went to the doc's 2 days ago, and they took a gander inside. Let me tell you, i never want that again. Probably one of the most uncomfortable things ever. Not a whole lot of pain, but just enough to make me want to push the doctor out of the room. And i'm only 2.5 centimeters dilated, 50% effaced, and the baby needs to drop like hella lot. On tuesday, they're going to have me sit in a chair for like 40 minutes with baby monitor on mah belly to see what he's up to. They don't want to induce me if they don't have to, and i don't really want to either if i can avoid it. I'm just terrified that i'm going to have this baby come out and be like 11 lbs and destroy me.

Have been watching season 4 of prison break. It's a good show, with several hot, muscle infused men. I've also been watching Death Note. Yeah, i'm like 4 years behind, whatever. I'm so happy for online streaming videos, or i'd go insane. I can't ever watch t.v. since jared's always using it for his goddamn FFXI game. srs, he spends more time online with his friends and that game than with me. i want to frisbee it off the balcony.

Oh man! I guess if you want to make a rap parody, you just call t-pain, and he's like, "well, i got billzzzz to pay."
though i do adore his bling that says big ass chain. and for some reason, i seriously can't tell you why, but i like taylor swift's look in this. shoot me. i do love her hair though. hair envy...... and i guess if what she's singing is true, her and i could hang out, bake some cookies and maybe scrapbook. and then i'd ask for styling tips on my hair.

So, i finally read the book Fight Club. Even though they used the narration nearly exactly when they made the movie, i feel that they really didn't stick to the book in the end. Like, hardly at all. But, it was a good book. I always enjoy a Chuck Palahniuk read. Probably because all his characters are so odd, so strange. Even if you never wanted to have these people in your real life, they make for good reads and stories.

I saw UP the other day. What i heard seems to be true, it wasn't really a kids movie. Not in the way that Watchemen wasn't a kids movie. (seriously, when i saw that, there were all these little kids there with their parents. Like, 4 and 5. Enjoy the giant glowing blue peen there kiddies.) It had aspects that would appeal to both kids and adults, but i don't think all kids would completely grasp the real story going on. Only because they haven't lived long enough. I don't want to give anything away. I hate spoilers myself. Jared and i held hands through the first half, and he even had tears. I told my mom not to watch it, it's too emotional for her. She'd end up with half a box of kleenex at the floor. So if you haven't seen it yet, i recommend it. Pixar, what an anomaly you are. All your movies are good. I hope that studio never fails us. What an enormous amount of pressure they must have.

And......... still waiting on the baby. yeah, just thought i'd throw that in there.

tomorrow's my D-date. but......... i doubt that i'll be holding him in my arms within the next 24 hrs. blah.

jared found my first stretch marks today. DAMN! SO CLOSE! at least they're not bad ones. they may fade pretty well though. i'm sure i'll just tattoo over them anyways.

i had a dream last nite that i did give birth, but to a little girl. then i took her to the beach and set her in the sand. then the waves started coming in super strong all of a sudden. i was trying to pick up all my stuff and her, and ended up pushing/lightly kicking her with my foot to try to get her out of the water. i kept yelling at her to get up. i didn't like this dream so much. i've also been having alot of dreams with my brother in them lately too.

i just want my baby to arrive. i'm seriously so nervous, and scared and worried, but i'm also excited and curious. what's he going to be like? how will he like us? oh man.... my days are numbered.

my knees are sunburned. the tops of them. the rest of my legs look like they had a tarp over them, as they are still white. wtf? how does that happen?

so what am i at, 4 more days till the due date. c'mon baby boy, get the hell out of me! i'm completely ready to have my bladder back, my stomach back, and be able to walk without looking like a duck. plus, i have all kinds of cute clothes to put you in. that, and people want to meet you. i promise, it'll be really easy. you'll be asleep most of the time any way. just pop on out though, and all this (plus more!) is yours!

srsly, i'm going to be preggo forever. oh, i guess someone at jared's work asked how i was doing/how far along. he told them that "oh man, my preggo is huge! hopefully she goes into labor soon!" i guess there was some girl there, and she got all offended that he referred to me as "preggo". she told him "you're lucky you're not my husband" and he said "in more ways than one" and i guess then she got hella pissed and stormed off. but really, i find nothing insulting about preggo. does anyone else?

Ok, here's a silly meme thingy.

Respond to this post, and i shall post a picture of the famous person/character i think would be perfect for you as a romantic match. i will even go so far as to attempt to explain why i think that. but you cannot get mad if i don't pick the person you would have.

Go on, give it a try!

ok, stay with me on this. yes, i read all the twilight saga books. yup, they were pretty good, in a kind of trashy way, kind of i-feel-like-i'm-15-again way. so, anyway, here is the new preview for the 2nd movie, new moon. now the point of this is, damn, young muscular native americans guys are hot. like, hotter than a 26 year old woman should think. oh well. maybe i'll become a high school teacher and save money from going to the bar. but just watch the clip till the end, and you'll see what i mean.
http://vids.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=vids.individual&videoid=58185785

GAH!! i'm so sick of being pregnant! my back hurts, my legs hurt, he's laying in a way that my sciatic nerve is always causing me pain, the soles of my feet are constantly itchy, and painful, i'm always tired, and i pretty much should just live on the toilet since i pee so much. plus the not fitting my normal clothes, can't bend or twist, can't run or move really at all, and just feeling so weak and unattractive. i honestly don't know how anyone could get talked into doing this more than once in their life. my mom and ladora both tell me, "once you see that baby in your arms, you'll see. you'll want another one."

NO! i don't! and jared's so retarded, that while i'm telling him how much pain/how uncomfortable i am, he's trying to convince me to get preggo in december. uh, i don't know who slipped what in your food, but no. i have never been the kind of girl who saw herself with a cloud of children following her like a mama duck. two would be my max. but i just don't understand the women like kate from jon&kate+8, or octo-mom. i guess having camera crews following my just never appealed to me. i just think that even though i'll be so happy and in love with my son, that i'll still want to be able to have time in my life for myself as well. that there needs to be a balance.

and it would be cool if my feet fit my shoes again. and i could run. that would be neato as well. ahh, now to try and get these next three weeks to fly by without too much pain.

my sister, shelley. and last time i checked, she's more than just on my flist.

ok, so last saturday i had my baby shower. i still don't really know that many people, but i thought it was really nice that Ladora planned the whole thing and invited friends and people that i hope to build friendships with. it was one of those times in life when you see the really great side of people in general, that most people are nice and want to support others.
that being said, one of the girls kept bringing up odd topics of conversation, at least for a baby shower. she kept talking about some couples that only a few of the girls knew, and how these couples were cheating on each other and other gossipy stuff. then we also got to talk about child abuse. she said that she never knows when to report suspected neglect/ abuse. most of us were shocked by this, not only as an odd topic, but because we have wondered if we should call the cops on her! her 3 kids (one nearly 4, twins nearly 2) stay outside playing well past 11 at night. she sleeps in every morning, leaving her kids to their own devices. this led to the time she came downstairs and they were playing with kitchen knives. when one of the girls babysat for her, she had to go upstairs to the bedrooms. she had to cover her face with her shirt because of the smell of urine. there were no clean clothes, and the kids were filthy. actually, they are always filthy. i cannot hold them, and don't want to, because of the smell.
so, there's my gossipy side. but the rest of the party was great. shanesse got me a cake that was soooooo good! srsly, one of the best cakes i've ever had. of course we played silly baby shower games. there's one where you taste baby food and guess what it is. yeah, i got one out of nine. i suck. but i got some good advice and hints for taking care of baby boys. i hadn't even thought about how to take care of his little pee-pee after the circumcision. and i didn't know that later on, but while he's still in diapers, he'll get little baby hard-ons, and laugh about it. i'm glad someone told me now, i would've been quite shocked later on.
well, here's the pics. i'd like to point out that i'm not fat, i'm just quite swollen in the face and ankles, and calves.
( Baby Time! )

i'm so down with this!! who wants to go see it with me?

so, in about one more month (give or take, cause who knows) i'll be popping out my baby.

and i guess it's all finally hit me. and i'm sort of freaking out. not crying and regret freaking out, just a lot of inner thoughts that go like this.
"OMGOMGOMGOMG! how am i going to do this?" rinse, repeat.

i don't know if this is normal or not, but i think for me it is. i feel like i'm not really going to be ready, that there's still so much more to prepare for, and that i'll never be ahead of the curve.

but i am excited.

also, it is getting really hot and humid here now. and carrying and extra 35lbs is not the way to experience my first summer here. i'm loathe to do anything physical now, cause i instantly sweat and have to drink water and pee at the same time it seems. hopefully next summer i'll be able to enjoy it better.

jared is home.

and things are going much better than i thought they would. i was worried that things would be all awkward or tense, sense we've been apart for so long.
but i woke up last night to him holding and rubbing my big ol' baby belly. he seems quite awe struck by how big it is now, and that he can feel and see the baby moving.
$20 that he melts the moment he meets his child.

i told my friends that any movie that has dane cook in it, should have had ryan rynolds instead. cook's only talent is that he can do "fast speak" and that's it. ryan can do it too, but better, acts better, is funnier, and is WAAAAYYYYY hotter. i would rather see ryan's chesticles than cook's meteor face any day of my life.

oh yeah.... that's what mommy likes. i wonder where the other black wire is clamped onto??? ok, i know where it is, the car battery... i don't know what it is about muscular, baldish, hairy chested, older men. but i'm happy for their existence.